January 8, 2005 (Day 1)

Pulau Tekong Besar. The breeding grounds of the Singapore Armed Forces. The island where boys are sent to become men.

And it shall be where I shall be trapped for the next 9 weeks of my life.

And so it begins. It was only half a day, but it was already enough confirmation of my worst fears. Yelling sergeants, hectic pace, crap food, brumb balls for company, and at the end of it all, I was already close to tears, as lights out, and so did the time when I could finally call out to the world, approached.

Well, I called home first, and well, I was still able not to crack at hearing my family's voices, for they didn't mean much to me in the first place, and probably won't be for a while yet. But.....I finally broke when I called N. She has always meant so much to me, and now I appreciated hearing her voice even more, in my current sorry state. Even now, I'm struggling to hold in my tears as I am writing.......but I must. I must for all of those I love......N, EL, all the girls.....enough.

Maybe in the next few days, I will learn how to be emotionally detached.......goodness knows I'll need it to survive these 9 weeks.

Until then.........