March 1, 2005 (Day 53)

I'm really starting to miss those girls.

Oftentimes, while I am in here, I end up wondering how they are doing right now. I've neber had a chance to meet them ever since the last outing before I first came to Tekong, with the exception of WR, and the way they have become almost uncontactable at this point in time is not helping. They are all out in the world right now, working for their moeny, and I can't help but wonder if they are doing okay. ST has always been working even when I knew her in school, so I have no worries about her, and I've seen WR at her workplace, and from the looks of it, she's doing just fine as well. But I have no idea whatsoever about how EL is doing since I last met her, and oftentimes I wonder about how she is. It's been a long time since I last saw them, and how I wish I could go back to the days of PJC, when, whenever it's not about homework, it's about mingling with them, and having fun teasing the pretty, empty little heads of theirs.

Well, perhaps I would finally meet them this Friday. If rumors about the 'A' Level results coming out this Friday turns out to be true.

It's strange, I know, but when you're in the Army, te life is sufficiently tough enough to make you unable to think about anything else beyond your present predicament. And that's including the 'A' Levels. Even though the outcome would turn out to be the indicator of the direction of my life, I have been finding it hard to think of it that way. For something that was the basis of two years of my life, the 'A' Levels have become frivolous, almost trivial, inits meaning to me. Maybe it's because I have a rough plan as to what to do with my life if I don't make it to NUS. Maybe it's because I am no longer thinking about it as yet to be, but as something that's already past. Whatever it is, it has seemed to cease being meaningful to myself. I wonder what this means.

Things can really change when you're not aware of time passing. Now, whenever I book out during the weekends, and I get home, and after washing myself, I would turn on the computer......and hope to meet that someone who I've been really wishing to meet for the whole week. And she would have been waiting too, waiting for the week so that she could meet me just once on the weekend. That someone is NeNe. I don't know how to describe it, but it really seems like the start of what I hope would be something beautiful. Even though the odds against us are great, I being a 19-year-old Singaporean NSMan with a pittance for an 'income', and she an 18-year-old Craotian schoolgirl, we cherish this hope that we would meet someday, and hope is blind. This much I know.

It could be a long time before we actualy meet, if at all, and in that time, so many things could happen. Still, I will wait, hoping that fate would soon deal the both of us better hands than we have presently.

Jason and Naomi. What a pair.